Adventures in Creationland

Ok here goes -

I used to pretend to be a budgie when I was 3. I was most distressed when my teacher wouldn't hold her finger out for me to perch on as I leapt from the climbing frame flapping my arms wildly.
I once recited a poem standing on a bench in the grounds of Chesterfield's Crooked Spire to three policemen and 20 assorted enebriated personages at 3.00am one Saturday morning after a few sniffs of shandy. The poem was entitled 'Bertie the Bat' and it gained me a round of applause from the policemen (and anyone else present who could actually match their hands together in order to clap.)
I used to work as an undertakers secretary. I once sent in the obituaries to the local rag and unfortunately the photo's became detatched from the obits. I then had to walk around the deceased trying to identify them to the reporter. Me: "Oh this gentleman has ginger hair" Reporter: "Sorry Miss - all the photo's are in black and white."
Another job I had was as a buyer for a nuts and bolts company. Many happy hours were spent ordering "greased nipples" on the phone to an equally embarrassed trainee salesman.
I once ate a lemon (skin, pips and all) at a Radio 1 roadshow in order to win a portable cassette player and a cassette by Culture Club. Yes - I really was that desperate.
I gained my gold medal in Disco Dancing and yes I can do the pointy hand dance from Saturday Night Fever. Burn baby burn!
I once rode a donkey on Skegness beach wearing no undercrackers. I was 2 at the time.
My first huge crush was on that famed heart throb..........John Denver. He really did "Fill up my senses". I even bought the round glasses and a guitar (which I learned to play just so I could sing Leavin' on a Jet Plane) Ahh the memories! My other crushes were David Bowie, David Cassidy, David Essex and David Soul (known collectively as The Four Davids) but John was my passion!
My top three favourite films are: Nightmare before Christmas, Dead Poets Society and The Wizard of Oz.
I am an embarrassment to my children. I love to listen to very loud music ("turn it down Mum - You're giving me a headache!"), skip and sing in supermarkets and generally create mayhem. My DH says he has three kids not two but my girls' friends rated me as "coolest mum" so that can't be too bad can it. I was also voted "most barking mad mum" too but we won't mention that...ahem!